|A N N A R B O R I S O V E R R A T E D . (a blog.)|
Of course, this weblog is far more sophisticated. Rather than come up with sophomoric puns on "Ann Arbor," we prefer to employ sarcastically the nicknames foisted on our fair city by its more well-meaning inhabitants. Which include not only "A-squared" but a sobriquet so insipid that it's rarely or never been mentioned here before: Tree Town.
You down with Tree Town?
But that's nothing. We hear that some of these signs actually refer to loud "rock music" performances at the city's less reputable establishments. The unsightliness of these "trashy signs," as Baird refers to them, is just the beginning - they are an inducement to noise pollution.
Why can't these "rock bands" get out the word about their "shows" via a tasteful newsletter to their paid members, like the Ark?
1. Hear Liverpool quartet Ladytron at the Bowery Ballroom.
1. See Final Destination 2 at the Showcase.
The letter writer is, however, referring to the spaces created by buildings recently proposed by some planners. These buildings would reach a whopping 30 stories. She proposes, instead, the open-air mall idea already discredited in this weblog. (By "discredited", we mean "subjected to a half-hearted but meanspirited swipe.")
"If we wanted to live in Chicago or San Antonio or Detroit, we would," the letter concludes.
Does Ann Arbor Sucks have to do all the work around here? The top-level domain is .org. Here, here's a link. Can Ann Arbor Sucks have a cookie now?
Sources inform this weblog that the BANG! will now cost $6. Ann Arbor Sucks doesn't know about that. That's a few boxes of mac and cheese.
More unexpected is the wary, almost suspicious tone with which normally uncritical city booster Talk About Town takes this news. "We can't help wondering if the placement is truly warranted. A regular complaint on the 'campus scene,' in Rolling Stone's phrase, is a lack of local support for local bands - in terms of audience, appropriate venues and radio backing," they ruminate. "After all, the occasional John Hiatt or Taj Mahal show notwithstanding, including middle-aged acoustic haven The Ark among the reasons we 'rock' seems a bit puzzling." Wow, TAT. That almost sounded like snark (assuming the part about "the occasional John Hiatt show" being "notwithstanding" was sarcastic.) Ann Arbor Sucks didn't know you had it in you.
Perhaps a more appropriate barometer of A2's rock scene coolness would be Luna's show at the Blind Pig last night. After drunkenly heckling all the way through the opening act's uninspiring but workmanlike set, the crowd, young and middle-aged alike, proceeded to make the experience as miserable as possible by waving pitchers of beer in the air and screaming various inappropriate but nonetheless unamusing remarks, starting with the equipment setup.
"What's that guy's name? Dennis? Derek."
"HEY DEREK! ROADIE! YOU'RE THE SHIT, MAN!"
A far cry from the detached-cool audience Luna usually attracts. But to Rolling Stone's ex-Maxim editor, this is no doubt just the sort of thing that makes Ann Arbor "rock" so hard.
"No way, man," councilman Jake Rollins said. "We can't just put something in there. It has to sit empty as a depressing reminder of how goddamn much everything in this city costs, especially rent. What, next you're going to tell us we should find something to fill in the Pinball Pete's on State and Packard that's been sitting empty for five years?"